TOP TEN FOOTBALL MISSES

Sorry to dissapoint but we have gone for the funny element and not the glamour. Good old fashioned football misses, what we have linked in is an old, remember Mark Hately anyone? Top Ten.

Should fellow bloggers wish to send us their Top Ten of the Misses sense we might well include. While talking fashion would also welcome Top Ten Players (best eye candy etc).



And keeping with the funnier side our comment from the past:

For Years I thought the club's name was Partick Thistle Nil.

Billy Connolly

OUR FRIEND IN THE NORTH  (ROCKY)

 Speaking of havin a larf, the FA idea of keeping hold of Capello until after the Euro doesn't rub.  We should bin him now and replace him with someone with big enough balls to let go of our aging rock star footballers and get some youngsters to cut their teeth on the European Championships prior to the World Cup.  We don't really care about winning the European Championships for two reasons: 1) We aren't good enough.  2) It's not the World Cup.  Any footballer who will be too old for the World Cup, shouldn't get a place in the European comp.  That's my opinion.  Thank you for listening.  And don't get me started on Sepp Blatter. 

Jumpers has recently been taking quite a liking to Mario Balotelli, when not scoring goals and wearing the best celebration t-shirt to date he scores goals with nonchalance and just looks as though it was nothing and now we have the saga of his  new Maserati.

The Sun reports that the Manchester City star picked up his new 187mph, £100,000 Italian supercar on Monday, but was pulled over by police on Tuesday on suspicion of speeding.

And in the season of goodwill it is with some surprise that we hear that Anelka is off to China, firstly we did not realise that they had professional football and secondly this must rank with Lineker to Japan and Beckham to USA for the more unusual transfers.

While not our favourite player as the following shows he knows how to put the ball in the back of the net.

And the Ref Gets

After a weekend of good results for England and Wales to mention two we must congratulate person, unknown, who placed a large sum on both winning their games. It was a good weekend for us too as we finally got four predictions right and won a few quid ourselves (thanks Leyton Orient and Notts County).

Well now for our own favourite topic the fun side of the game. Who can remember one of our own favourite moments when Paul Gasgoine, at the time playing for Rangers, showed the ref the yellow card. Well here it is:

Mario Balotelli putting the fun back into the game

What a weekend of football, after a reasonable midweek in Europe, Super Sunday lived up to it’s name with a 1-6 thriller at Manchester and QPR turning over Chelsea. Add Arsenal and Spurs both winning their games and Premiership fans were left with plenty to savour, talk and groan about – the perfect Sunday.

As we hope you know here at Jumpers we like tom look at football the way we believe it should be a sport which is fun and entertaining, with the occasional pop at officialdom – well we have our moment of the week and who else but Mario Balotelli.  What can we say, in our opinion (apart from thanks Hull for letting my bet down but well done) he scores a good goal and with the sort of humour this game needs reveals a shirt with the most in-offensive slogan “Why always me.” – a bit of fun and officialdom’s answer a yellow card.

For those that missed it:

SHOULD ROONEY GO 2012

Well the question that seems to be on every ones lips is should Rooney be taken to Euro 2012 despite the fact he will miss all the qualifying games…….According to Graham Taylor (did not exactly cover himself in international glory as England Manager) he should. Well here at Jumpers we take a different point of view.

Although we agree that Rooney is a good player he is also, as proven, a liability and is now (along with Beckham) the only player to have been sent of twice while playing for England as the following stats show:

Most yellow cards 

David Beckham, 17 ^[92]

Most red cards 

David Beckham, 2

Wayne Rooney, 2

List of all England players sent off

·      Alan Mullery, 5 June 1968, 0-1 vs. Yugoslavia in Florence, 1968 European Championship ^[93]

·      Alan Ball, 6 June 1973, 0-2 vs. Poland in Chorzow, 1974 World Cup qualifier

·      Trevor Cherry, 12 June 1977, 1-1 vs. Argentina in Buenos Aires, friendly ^[94]

·      Ray Wilkins, 6 June 1986, 0-0 vs Morocco in Monterrey, 1986 World Cup ^[95]

·      David Beckham, 30 June 1998, 2-2 vs. Argentina in Saint-Etienne, 1998 World Cup

·      Paul Ince, 5 September 1998, 1-2 vs. Sweden in Stockholm, 2000 European Championship qualifier ^[96]

·      Paul Scholes, 5 June 1999, 0-0 vs. Sweden in London, 2000 European Championship qualifier ^[97]

·      David Batty, 8 September 1999, 0-0 vs. Poland in Warsaw, 2000 European Championship qualifier ^[98]

·      Alan Smith, 16 October 2002, 2-2 vs. Macedonia in Southampton, 2004 European Championship qualifier

·      David Beckham, 8 October 2005, 1-0 vs. Austria in Manchester, 2006 World Cup qualifier ^[99]

·      Wayne Rooney, 1 July 2006, 0-0 vs. Portugal in Gelsenkirchen, 2006 World Cup

·      Robert Green, 10 October 2009, 0-1 vs. Ukraine in Dnipropetrovsk, 2010 World Cup qualifier ^[100]

·      Wayne Rooney, 7 October 2011, 2-2 vs. Montenegro in Podgorica, 2012 European Championship qualifier

(SOURCE WIKIPEDIA)

Another point is we have other players who are also capable of scoring goals and we need to get past the qualifying stage to start with.  We would welcome your views.

As Carlos Tevez faces not only the wrath of Man City but also his golf club and as our QPR friend waxes lyrical about the wealth of West London’s newest addition to the premiership once again we wonder is money ruining the game? Yester Year Sir Stanley Matthews was roasting the worlds finest for £20 a week and even the likes of Pele and Best never commanded a fraction of what some of the modern day mediocre stars do, the game is expensive to watch and has lost it’s characters – please officialdom don’t destroy our heritage anymore.

Well that’s the rant over, as we get ready to watch Shamrock Rovers, a team of part timers who have become the first Irish team to reach this stage of a European Tournament (that’s more like what we want at Jumpers)

Oh well now for the nostalgia:

Stanley played top level football until he was fifty - he never knowingly brought the game into disripute and was always an example to school children everywhere.

GoalKeepers Should Always Be Aware

What can happen if you spend too much time celebrating

Atfer an extended break....

As the new Season has started here at Jumpers, after an extended summer break, we have the usual questions. Is a collective term of Football Officials called Incompetence? Further, more is a collection of football administrators a corruption. In addition, as importantly can we finally get some football tips right.

Our plea to the authorities is that the game should be entertaining and have character not a load of over coached dummies and people to afraid of being brought to book by the FA. Oh how we miss Clough, Docherty and Allison. The Bests and Bowles of this world – the game needs them. During the season we will often hype back to those days as we finish bottom of the fantasy league!

Enough for now just to leave with a few blasts from the past:

“There was no point in him coming to team talks. All I used to say was, “Whenever possible pass the ball to George.””

Sir Matt Busby on who else the Late Great George Best

“Anyone who uses the word quintessentially in a half-time team talk is talking crap.”

Mick McCarthy gets to the point.

“I used to play football in my youth but then my eyes went bad so I became a referee.”

Luton’s most famous fan Eric Morecambe

And from our overseas Correspondant - wit and wisdom

·                                 So Chelski go for the Porto coach, bet Icerink is really happy this morning, walks out on Turkey into .....One thing you can be sure of with Abram the bitch, he will shit on anyone . True personal integrity.

I I see Adebayor could be off to colder climes , Surely Harry wasn't seriously thinking of taking him but then he must be getting desperate as all his players worth anything are talking about moving on, notice how quiet Gormless has been!! And Man Shitty haven't signed anybody new yet, do you think people are starting to realise they are really a sham, always were and always will be also rans like Villa. Now there's a laugh, just stolen a wannabe Fergie manager who noboby else wants and refferees aren't scared of and players ignore, ho hum happy day.

 

It is rumoured that a certain missing lord and newspaper magnate could well make a surprise attendance at next FIFA meeting , if they can get a certain horse saddled, and that has as much credibility as Sepp Blatter or that other french (spit) paragon of virtue monsewer Platipus.
I understand Comrade Abramovich has a penchant for managers like  he has for suchi, he sits there and they go past him until he sees one he might like then he picks it , tastes it , if it's not to his liking he puts it back and tries another, seems though he 's already tried one but can't make up his mind ,so he is going to have another go. Turkey are happy they were trying to work out how to tell the Dutchman to piss off without having to pay him. And what about Allerdyce, jeez, the season hasn't even started and the Hammers board have given him a vote of confidence, I wouldn't even bother to unpack me lunch if I were him.

Kosher Kid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

England V Switzerland

I know that we like to look at the light hearted, funny side of the game but England's perfromance against the Swiss was in our opinion beyond a joke. Oh where ismn our noble game?

As Barcelona entertain, FIFA let us down.

As the season closes, we look at the end ceremony games. Barcelona show the world how to play football, with style and passion. Man Utd are not a bad team, then again neither are Real Madrid or Arsenal, but they are just not good enough.

Messi again amazes as he scores great goals for fun, far better than Rooney and with a much better temperament. Do yourself a favour Wayne and get Messi on video (rather than on the pitch)  – watch and learn.

We would like to give our congratulations to Swansea as via the play offs they have become the first Welsh team to play in the Premiership. As an old fashioned, bring back the brylcream, sort I don’t actually agree with the play off system firmly believing that it is a league judged over a season so the third team should go up automatically.

Now for the bile. Just what are FIFA up to? This has got to go down as one of the worst elections in history, if you can even call it an election. Sepp Blatter not even has the common decency to wait and allow another candidate to oppose him. Wait for it for what I am about to write I cannot believe myself, you may never see this published by me again….WELL DONE THE FA. Thanks for finally getting something right and standing up for what is good for the game (I can’t believe that I am giving them credit it just shows you how bad FIFA are). The English and Scottish (old alliances do die hard) may not of won but at least they tried.

Just an after thought just how many of these football administrators have played top level football…… well Sepp isn’t one for starters.

The Legend Brian Clough - Part 2

In May 1967, after various disagreements and despite relative success, with the Hartlepools board, Clough and Taylor joined Derby County, a team that had been rooted in the second division for over 10 years.

The transformation may not have been immediate but in 1969 they were Second Division Champions and in 1972, despite fierce competition, they claimed the First Division prize for the first time in their history.

By now Clough was making a name for himself as one of the great motivators, a maverick who lit up the games with his comments and his beliefs in how football should be played and run.

Controversy was never far away and after a dispute with the Derby board, over not being allowed to take his family with him on a football tour, Clough declined to go. Peter Taylor took the team instead and Derby County did not contest the Charity Shield that year. It was a sign of things too come.

Clough and another Legend

And of course more of his famous quotes:

"Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes."  Reflecting on England's exit from Euro 2000.


"We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right." On dealing with a player who disagrees.

FA CUP TRIVIA

The last time two teams with City in their name contested the FA Cup Final was 1969 when Man City beat Leicester City 1-0 (this was the last time Man City won the FA Cup).

The previous meeting in the final between two teams with City in their titles was in 1956 when Birmingham City were defeated by Man City (this was the occasion when Bert Trautman broke his neck and continued playing)

The Legend - Brian Clough Part One

BRIAN HOWARD CLOUGH

In a day of the non-entity in sport, as money becomes more of a factor than personality, marketing comes before ability and all the sports seem to be the same or at least me run by the same people we can look back at the people from yester year and see what it is that we are missing.

In Brian Clough football had one of the greatest sporting personalities of all time.

Brian was born 21 March 1935 in Middlesbrough and it was with his home team that he made his name as a prolific goal scorer, his record was 197 goals in 213 league games. He later moved to Sunderland where he maintained his remarkable record by scoring 54 goals in 61 appearances before his playing career was cut short by injury.

For the record he also won two England caps, against Wales  17 October 1959 and Sweden on 28 October 1959, without scoring.

Clough started his famous managerial career as Manager of Hartlepools, with Peter Taylor as his assistant, in October 1965, at 30 he was the youngest manager in the league.

Quotes

"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there."   On the importance of passing to feet. 


"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one." Looking back at his success.

Sir Henry Cooper RIP

Although not football here at Jumpers4 we appreciate sporting talent and personality and it was with sadness that we learnt of Sir Hnery's death.

Sir Henry Cooper RIP

3 May 1934 – 1 May 2011

Affectionately known as Our Enry with his famous left hook (known as Enry’s Ammer) was one of the all time British boxing greats and an equally famous television personality.

As a boxer Henry was an honest and reliable sportsman who never let anyone down – perhaps his most famous bouts were against the legendary Muhammad Ali (although he lost both he famously knocked the great man down and some say out in their first bout).

Henry won boxing respect in his own right winning three Lonsdale belts outright ( a unique achievement) and held the Empire / Commonwealth titles and European Champion. He held theses titles against all comers until losing to Joe Bugner in his last ever fight.

Known for his wit and warmth he remained ever popular. Among his other achievements he was awarded OBE and knighted and twice voted BBC Sports Personality of the Year.

TORRES FINALLY SCORES

Torres has finally netted for Chelsea, is he worth £50mill (then again is any footballer worth it) but just in case he can’t maintain the form here are some of his best goals:

In an era when money talks louder than the football we have dug up a couple of quotes which we think puts things into prospective:

They offered me a handshake of £10,000 to settle amicably. I told them they would have to be a lot more amicable than that.

Tommy Docherty after being released from Preston North End in 1981.

Premier League football is a multi-million pound industry with the aroma of a blocked toilet and the principles of a knocking shop.

Michael Parkinson

A step back in time - Man City 1969 FA Cup Winners

At Jumpers4 we believe that it has been quite an eventful week or so in the glorious game.

First we have that greatest of all Cup competitions the FA (hear us powers that be do not try to fix something that’s being working well for over a hundred years). Habitually on the side of the underdog (as well as the funnier not so serious aspects) it’s great to see A Man City v Stoke final. In both cases the FA Cup underdog won their respective semi finals and not since 1981 has Man City been to the Final and Stoke, well as you are well aware this is their first time.

Now to Europe, or the competition which was once the European Cup. Well one  English side had to go in an all English 1/8, and once again Man Utd ended Chelsea’s dream of Champions League triumph. (Torres money well spent???)

As for Spurs their debut run was halted by a Real Madrid who once made this Competition their own and with the chosen one in charge may well reach the final.

Lastly who has got the better end of the deal Liverpool or Chelsea. Carroll + £15 million for Torres. Carroll, who is the younger of the two despite looks, has started to find the net for his new Club and his Country while Torres can’t even bury his blushes.

Some old some new - funny moments with sound effects

We want new pundits

Having watched the match between Tottenham and West Ham on Saturday we find ourselves asking a few questions.

No not on how good or bad the teams played, nor the conduct of any of the players or match officials Oh no. What we must question is the ability of your average pundit. In the past we have stated our arguments against Hansen and Lawrenson, both top class players in their day but in our opinion 4^th Division pundits – actually change that at best 4^th rate and so boring I would rather listen to paint dry.

Well now we have another one to add to the list – Nigel Winterburn. In the afore mentioned game just how many times did he use the term “It looks worse than it is” after a foul was committed (answers on a postcard please). Would it be better to go back to the old days when the pundits had character and humour  - we would welcome a real life Ron Manager.

Someone we were watching a game with earlier this season we believe made the football comment of the month “he’s a good player as long as you don’t give him the ball.”

Other events this weekend. For starters we had a dabble on Bolton to beat Man Utd at 6-1 well the bookies are not famous for being generous and the odds were to prove true as Fergie’s boys creep closer to another League title.

Liverpool Sunderland despite the hype failed to provide a moment to match the beach ball incident, but we have been reliably informed it was quite a good game

Both Arsenal and Tottenham drew games which on paper they should have won. We saw the London derby as already mentioned and thoroughly enjoyed the game – both keepers made top class saves and 0-0 made a good game sound dull.

In Arsenal’s case we thank you for one of those humorous, if you are not an Arsenal Fan (to this who are our apologies), moments and candidate for comic keeper caper error of the month award.

In other divisions teams we have been keeping our eyes on had mixed fortunes. QPRs good run continues and it looks only a matter of time before they return to the top flight – this was the team that back in the sixties and seventies not only entertained on the pitch but was a natural home to some of the great characters like Marsh and Bowles. Leyton Orient’s purple patch, however, ended. We still hope that they can make the play offs – many years ago we saw them beat Scarborough in a play off leg at

Brisbane Road

. Lastly Gillingham who failed to get any points in their clash with Burton Albion (former club of Nigel son of Clough)

Sunderland v Liverpool Beach ball incident 2 (Actual video of the goal.)

Never Known for his brains

"Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

Footballers' Wisdom Part One “I was really surprised when the FA knocked on my doorbell. Michael Owen

FA Cup works so back off FA.

In a week we hear rumours that the FA and Premiership clubs are thinking of toying with the most famous club competition I the world we would like to point out:

What a weekend – just what we like to see the minnows giving the big guns a run for their money;

First we have Man Utd v Crawley Town (just how bad is Rooney). Crawley are a team of part time footballers who don’t get to travel first class, be pampered on and train in luxurious surroundings Oh no. Jumpers 4 Goalposts this mob and good luck to them – Owning a Bently does not make you a better footballer.

From start to finish they gave Man Utd a game and almost scored a copycat goal to Rooney’s bicycle kick. We would hope that after this match Wayne feels a little humbled by his antics – frustrated is what the commentator said (he would of described Tyson’s ear biting incident as a bit peeved)  well petulant is what we think.

The O’s great 2011 continues as they take the Gunners to a replay. Much needed revenue for Leyton but Oh how their opponents could do without another game in their rapidly increasing fixture list.

And of course we must not forget Notts County, even most Man City fans I think would agree that 5-0 was a bit flattering. Notts had several excellent attempts (some Premiership strikers should watch this game and pay attention) at goal forcing some excellent saves from the ever improving Joe Hart.

Now over to Chelsea and Everton - £75 million spent in the transfer window and out the Cup you go to a team that cost a fraction of that amount, if Chelsea really fail (no trophies and no Champions League) what will they do now.

So FA it’s not broke so don’t fix it!

Bye, Bye Stratford or Is it now just about the money

It has been quite a few days. Leyton Orient's impresive 2011 continues as West Ham continue to show how good they could be. In the second half of the West Brom game they showed the spirit and ability of a Champions League side and not one fighting a relegation battle to the Championship, however, congratulations to all Hammers on getting the Stratford site - I can't help thinking that Olympic Orient had agood ring to it though!

This all goes on as Man Utd win bragging rights over their City rivals whilst as City and Chelsea both falter in derby games (work this one out Fulham are based in Putney while Chelsea are in Fulham!) Arsenal and Spurs take advantage.

Still as the game becomes more about cheque books than football boots we must ask is Torres worth £50 million? Well for our money, about the price of a match ticket in 1984, he isn't but then again is any player. He missed a sitter last night which I could have easily done for a fraction of his pay and most of you would have probably have burried without even putting your drink down.

Liverpool did invest a large chunk in Andy Carrol as a replcement, allgedly Spurs offered a swap deal for him; both Peter Crouch and an apology but Newcastle took Liverpool's £35 mill instead - more money than it cost the reds to win three european cups during the Paisley era.

Another point we still reflect on is Aston Villa.....they were willing to Loose Martin O'Neil because of transfer funds etc and then give Gerad "dead ringer for Kermit the Frog" Houlier the money to buy Darren Bent - don't get me wrong a proven manager and a player who should, in my umble opinion gone to the last World Cup instead of Heskey - if O'Neil had had those sort of funds me thinks Villa would be Champions League chasing.

Which one is Kermit and which is Houllier?

Funny FOOTBALL , SOCCER, FUSSBALL 2010 -2011

FUNNY LOOK AT THE GAME - ESPECIALLY LIKE; RONALDO'S CHEAT, HOW DID HE MISS THAT GOAL AND THE MANAGER TAKING HIS FRUSTRATION OUT ON THE DUGOUT

"The most educated person at Real Madrid is the woman who cleans the toilets." Joan Gaspart, Barcelona vice-president, 1997.

BREAKING NEWS

Torres to Chelsea deal breaks down after John Terry fails to agree terms with Torres' wife!

Of commentators, pundits, administrators and managers dress sense

Well, well, well. After some great FA cup shocks – well done the mighty O’s- football continues to keep us entertained (this is despite colourless pundits such as Lawro, Hansen and even drabber presenters Adrian “rather listen to paint dry” Chiles.

Lets start with the commentators well on 22/1/11 Richard Keys and Andy Gray land themselves in hot water for sexist comments (oh how my heart bleeds). They commented that the young female assistant did not know the offside rule (who actually does???) Brilliant we might finally loose Andy Gray from the airwaves – deep joy.

Then we can turn our attention to THFC’s latest signing David Beckham. He takes his son to watch Arsenal while Spurs are away to Newcastle. Well done Dave that should really endear you to the Spurs faithful.

It gets better – Arsene Wengers dress sense. Just what is that sleeping bag he has taken to wearing  - is trying to tell us that he finds his team boring!!!!

COAT OR SLEEPING BAG

Then finally, we have the Olympic stadium fight. Who should get the complete waste of the taxpayers hard earned – West Ham or Spurs. Well if looking at this from a purely geographic point of view it should West Ham – backed by that great West Ham fan Karen Brady. Spurs being backed by former West Ham hero Harry Redknapp may think that they disserve it more – well Spurs do your fans want to give up their North London home come to think of it to West Hams finest want to move?

Just for the fun - no insult intended see below for one of last year's funnier moments.

Arsene Wenger throws his waterbottle!! MUST WATCH!

Last Weeks Round up

Kasper Schmeichel, son of Peter, proved he is really following in is father's footsteps with another excellent display against Arsenal. Leeds in the end out gunned but with heads held high they gave the londoners a run for their money.

With Man City also winning their FA Cup replay the 3rd Round giant killing came to an end but there could be more to come with a few potential banana skins in the 4th.

It has been pointed out to yours truly that the standard of commentary and punditary is becoming more wet, drab and boring than a scoreless draw on a cold winters night out in the barren wastes - well I agree.

BBC reel out the same pundits time after time and evry time I get the urge to watch paint dry to liven up the proceedings. Beeb hire Barry Fry or someone with passion and ability to bring humour into the game. For those that rember the Fast Show give us Ron Manager (Paul Whitehouse).

ITV are little better - just exactly what well known team did Adrain Chiles play for.

Answers to the above on a post (oe postcard).

Comedy Football

“Chelsea have just launched a new aftershave called “The Special One” by U Go Boss.”

Pat Flanagan after Jose Mourinho’s shock departure from Chelsea in September 2007

FA Cup Third Round

Well it's great to see that the great tradition of 3red Round FA Cup giant killing still goes on, post New Years celebrations would not be the same - its the fizz in the liver salts.

Among, but not limited, we had the away victories of Notts County against Sunderland and Leyton Orient against Norwich (sorry to the home team supporters but best of luck in the league). For Leyton Orient a welcome boost to a topsey turvey season.

With the great footballing traditions disapearing fast this bastion of what the game is I must hope continues.

And the night belongs to?

Well a quick look at last nights football and I can't help thinking that it could reflect the whole of the season.

Everything went right for Man Utd their top spot looks safe, with Arsenal and their other main rivals Man City only managing a draw with both teams having a player sent off.

Spurs flatering once again to decieve with Everton getting a well earned victory you can't help thinking that Spurs may get 4th place as Chelsea seem to self destruct. Mick Mc rightly well pleased as his Wolves side grabbed a victory against a West London side that just can't seem to perform since losing Butch.

West Ham's gallant run ended by a Newcastle - though we still think and hope that they escape the drop.

Not known for being a Mastermind Contender

"Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'